Few things in life will change you as much as becoming a parent. Some of the things you learn along the way are not the kind information you ever thought would need to know. For that matter not the information you even want to know see #10.
10. Green mucus pouring out of your nose means your sick and clear is just a Tuesday night!
9. being in the Bathroom alone is a luxuery
8. Day drinking is better then being out late (who would have thought)
7. Little boys will literally pee anywhere and think it's funny. When we were kids my brother killed my mom's indoor plants.
6. Kids Bop cd's are sort of creepy just let your kids listen to the original talented singer sing the songs.
FYI for those that don't know Kids Bop is a brand of compilation albums featuring kids performing current pop hits. The albums are composed of "kid-friendly" versions of the latest songs on Top 40 radio and are performed by teens and kids. Wikipedia
5. The Store Justice looks like a Fairy ate a hooker and then puked all over. It is a 6 to tween clothing store that just has the most hideous stuff. My daughter loves it and the only person to let her buy anything from this store is my mother...........
4. If you are just cute enough you get away with most things in public. My poor Bailey may never live down the diaper and rubber rain boots at gymnastics
3. My dog is the only reason we have clean floors
2. Men can't get enough of talking about their Penises even at 2. I mean come on I get that you have one now lets move on.
1. My i-phone holds the answer to every life problem from a screaming kid, assembling a toy, medical emergency, the schedule of every one in my house including the dogs and even a way to keep up on light reading.
- 2 oz Lucky Player King Cake Vodka
- 2 oz pineapple juice
- 0.5 oz coconut syrup
- 0.5 fresh lime juice
- Some soda or sparkling wine to top
Shake it all with ice and strain into a big glass with ice chunks and rimmed with gold sugar. Top with soda or sparkling wine.